Commentary: You Might be a Paleo-Scholar

Aug 20, 2013 by


Jeff Foxworthy

Jeff Foxworthy

Michael F Shaughnessy
Eastern New Mexico University
Portales, New Mexico

Everyone out there is probably familiar with Jeff Foxworthy and his various comedy routines. In one of his routines, perhaps his most famous, he provides a beginning phrase, then ends it with something funny. His beginning phrase is :

” You might be a redneck if “____and he provides some hilarious phrase about what some person may buy, or do or say.

Well, there are these people out there who are probably what we would call Paleo-Scholars. So, I decided to provide some hints so as to help the younger generation understand what a paleo-scholar is. So here we go, and apologies to Jeff Foxworthy (please don’t sue me-imitation IS the sincerest form of flattery! )


1) If you still read hard back books and write in the margins and underline words you don’t know to look up later.

2) If you still read Mortimer Adler and the Great Books.

3) If you still go to the library and browse through the ” stacks ” and read journal articles in actual paper journals.

4) If you are still interested in Greek, Roman, and classic mythology and on occasion go to a museum to actually study these things.

5) You still do statistics with a Texas Instruments calculator and do not have SPS or SPSS loaded on your computer.

6) You write your articles out on a Schaffer pen and edit them before typing them onto a word processing program.

7) You still use a Webster’s dictionary and actually mull over the correct choice of a word to use in a publication.

8) You might use a colleague to proof read your work and provide some feedback to you as to the quality of your work.

9) You actually have an adequate sample size for the experimental research you are doing and use the correct methodology and employ the correct statistical analysis, using non-parametric statistic when appropriate and parametric statistics when appropriate.

10) You don’t have an I pod,and I pad or some type of app on your cell phone or a Kindle .

11) You still have a slide rule and you actually know how to use it.

11) And the number one reason you might be a Paleo Scholar is____ if you have read Herodotus, Thucydides, Polybius, Plutarch, Tacitus, the Venerable Bede, Macaulay. Trevelyan, Bancroft, Prescott, Parkman, Churchill, Keegan, or any other historian.

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