The divorce revolution affects a third generation

Jun 2, 2016 by

Divorce | The divorce revolution is now affecting a third generation, as children and grandchildren of divorced couples carry scars of the past into relationships

At 22, Dawn Holiday had spent the previous two years getting to know her father. He was now remarried with children and planned to attend her college graduation, making it the first time in 20 years her divorced parents, along with their separate families and friends, would be in the same place. During the ceremony, Holiday consciously divided her time between the two groups, grateful they were unlikely to meet at the large event.

Afterward, Holiday went to eat with her father. But out of the hundreds of restaurants in Waco, Texas, her mother’s family happened upon the same one and sat only tables away. Awkward introductions and an uncomfortable lunch ensued. Holiday could hardly wait for it to end. She was overwhelmed by unresolved questions, confusion, and guilt: “I wanted to feel free to love them both. But love has a spoken or unspoken aspect of loyalty, creating a double-bind reality for children of divorce.”

June, marriage month, also brings sad realizations: Millions of Americans have experiences like Holiday’s, and the sting of divorce is now generations deep. As divorce permeates American culture, its ripple effects are felt in normally joyous occasions like weddings, graduations, children’s births, and holidays. Some children of divorce enter marriage with more resolve, but many others are cynical of marriage and prefer cohabitation, leading to more broken relationships.

Source: WORLD | Sins of their fathers & mothers | Mary Jackson | June 11, 2016

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