Headteacher at £20,000-a-year prep school bans birthday party invitations unless they are for the child’s whole class to avoid pupils feeling left out

Oct 15, 2013 by

But some say they cannot afford huge parties and refuse to invite class bully

A private school has banned children from handing out birthday party invites unless the whole class is invited to avoid upsetting those pupils who are left out.


Kingswood Preparatory School in Bath, Somerset, said just inviting a few friends is ‘divisive and unkind’ and went against their inclusion policy.

But some parents with children at the independent school, which charges up to £20,000 a year, say they cannot afford parties for more than 30 and are angry they could be forced to invite someone bullying their child.

A letter from headteacher Mark Brearey said: ‘Please could you avoid bringing any party invitations into school that do not include all children in a particular class or year group.

‘This goes completely against our policy of inclusion for every single child and is divisive and unkind.’

It has 306 pupils aged between three to 11 and says it ‘seeks to be a caring community based upon Christian principles’.

Speaking today Mr Brearey said he stood by his decision which was designed to prevent children who are left out feeling upset.

He said: ‘We consider kindness to be one of the key values of our school.

‘What we are saying is that actually handing over party invitations to some of the group in front of people is not the way we would like it to happen.

‘99.9 per cent of our parents are in total agreement with that.’

Grand: The Kingswood Preparatory School building, who said that just inviting a few friends to parties in front of others was 'divisive and unkind'

Grand: The Kingswood Preparatory School building, who said that just inviting a few friends to parties in front of others was ‘divisive and unkind’

 

He said if parents wanted to invite just a few friends, they should do it privately.

‘Do it by email, not in a public place where you find one or two or three people are left,’ he added.


‘If children feel like they have been left out by one of the class it can have a serious impact and it is something that doesn’t need to happen.

‘Why choose to exclude in a public context when you don’t need to?’

Parents took to Facebook to slam the ‘ridiculous’ decision.

Michela Helen Mills said: ‘I think children should be allowed to hand out invites and the head teachers should bear in mind that not all parents can afford to invite the whole class some classes have 20+ in each class.’

Grand: The entrance to Kingswood Preparatory School in Bath, Somerset, which costs up to £20,000 a year

Joanne Oliver said: ‘Kids should invite their friends in numbers the parents have budgeted for.

‘Why invite a kid who’s been harassing you at school all term?’

Jo Whittock added: ‘Most parents do a party on a budget so cannot afford to invite all in the class.

‘Also if you have a theme party you are sometimes limited to a certain number. Kids have to learn that they can’t have everything.’

But some parents jumped to Mr Brearey’s defence.

Nicholas Roper said: ‘He’s not forcing parents to host 30+ kids, just don’t hand out the invites at school.

‘Teaching kids is hard enough without extra drama in the classroom.’

via Headteacher at £20,000-a-year prep school bans birthday party invitations unless they are for the child’s whole class to avoid pupils feeling left out | Mail Online.

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