An Interview with Nicky Rolland: Bullying

Dec 11, 2013 by

Nicky Rolland

Michael F. Shaughnessy –

 

 

Nicky Rolland is a spiritual teacher and Author of “ Stepping into Consciousness – A Guide to living a Life of Joy, Meaning, and Abundance” In this interview, she discusses bullying, and the spiritual and religious side of it.

 

  1. Could you tell us a bit about your education and experience?

 

 

I graduated in 1989 from Concordia University in Montreal with a business degree. A few years later, I got married, had 3 children and was a stay at home mom until mid life. At 40, I became interested in wellness and holistic health and began a 2 year program with international Shaman Alberto Villoldo. I subsequently gave personal healing sessions to friends and family, branched out and gave some workshops to people in my community. Shortly after, I became certified as a yoga teacher, taught weekly yoga classes for my municipality, and at the same time wrote a book. I am now building an on line business- teaching tools so people can learn to heal themselves and thrive. I write blogs and host a weekly radio show on Blog Talk radio.

 

 

2. Now tell us about bullies, and the impact that they have had on your family.

 

My eldest daughter was bullied in both junior and high school. When we were in England there was a bully in her class that was picking on her as well as a group of her fellow classmates. When we returned to Canada, she was no longer overtly bullied but more covertly ignored. Teachers were often quite nasty to her because of her strong opinions – teachers fell into extreme camps of either supporting her or hindering her in some way. Today, she is very happy, well adjusted young woman, beginning an exciting 4 years of University in the UK. Not all bullied children fare as well as she did, many become scarred and carry the wounds for the rest of their lives. This pain naturally plays out on their ability to have loving relationships and happy lives later on in life.

 

3. I understand that your kids grew up in England. How do they handle bullies over there?

 

 

Though schools in the UK do have anti bullying policies written in their school prospectuses, just as we do, they are more tolerant of the bullying phenomenon. They still very much believe it is a right of passage everyone needs to go through that builds character. The UK is still very status and class conscious. They will do whatever it takes to protect their own. In my daughter’s case, the bully’s parents were respected members of the establishment. Her mother was a very competitive person who bullied her daughter. It was expected that we would not complain too much about this- so we didn’t. I now realize that the situation was not as dramatic as we felt it was at the time.

 

 

Children, left to their own devices can manage quite well. However, as they get older, if they have not learned the required skills to defend their power, bullying becomes more of a concern. Last I heard, the girl in question was not doing very well, was unhappy and certainly not blossoming into half the leader my daughter is today. Her parents and the school did not do that child a favor by supporting her bully behavior.

 

 

4. Talk to us about understanding bullies

 

 

Bullying happens whenever someone takes energy or power away from someone else. I see it as a game- a power play- playing with power… you take from me and I take from you, or I defend myself so you can’t take from me. It becomes problematic when people take power away from others who chooses not to, or are unable to defend themselves.

 

 

We all bully to some degree. The bullying syndrome goes beyond the person doing the bullying but also includes the person being bullied and the person witnessing the act… each play a role perpetuating this pattern.

 

Given the prevailing state of consciousness, it is difficult to imagine how this problem could become eradicated. I am, however, confident that as people become more self aware and conscious, bullying will become a thing of the past.

 

 

Bullies need to realize that they have access to an unlimited source of power within them so they do not need to take what doesn’t belong to them. Victims need to learn that they have a responsibility to safeguard their own power, and witnesses need to understand that they have an important role to play by simply holding space for the bully and the bullied to each step into their power. Witnesses collude with the syndrome, and make the situation worse when they try to rescue, turn away, or worse support the bully.

 

 

5- Many feel that bullies are really emotionally disturbed individuals and behaviorally disordered and should be in special education …your thoughts…

 

 

The bully phenomenon plays out on a continuum, ranging from mild, to severe, to dangerous. Once the line is crossed bullying does need to be addressed separately by the authorities as appropriate. However, I believe that this phenomenon needs to be addressed in the early stages, before the line is crossed.

 

We need to address it in our schools, within families, and within our communities first. It is often the bullied child that grows up to be the psychopath that shocks the world.

 

 

In our daily interactions, we each come across 2 types of bullying- Covert bullying which is more socially acceptable than overt bullying. Personally covert bullying scares me much more than overt bullying. I prefer to be confronted by a yelling, seemingly out of control individual (within reason of course…) than a calm person, raging on the inside, smiling on the outside but filled with hidden agenda. Often these bullies work in highly respected positions of authority and prestige, and these are the people who perpetuate the pattern of bullying prevalent today. They are very much in need of healing.

 

 

6. Could you discuss the “treatment of bullies”?

 

 

First of all, they need loving parents who are healthy and well. Often parents are afraid themselves, cannot manage their own stress levels, and bully their children as a consequence, often without even realizing what they are doing.

 

 

Second, we need to teach and encourage children, their parents, their teachers, their neighbours to each step into their own power. Many still feel powerless and believe that the only way to become powerful is to take from others. This is inaccurate.

 

 

Third, we need to trust that our children know how to defend themselves. I believe, they need to be given free reign, or a very loose reign, in the very early, formative years of socialization with their peers- Parents and educators need to stay out of the pre- k playground. Instead, we teach our children appropriate and inappropriate ways to defend themselves. As a consequence they get confused and lose their innate sense of what to do.

 

 

7. Religion, God, Spirituality- where do all these fit in?

 

 

As a spiritual teacher and a person deeply connected to who I am, I believe we are all connected to each other as well. When one person suffers the whole world suffers. Until we each remember that we are already whole and not separate we will continue to harm each other, steal from each other, and live in fear. Being separate is an illusion and is part of the dual reality we live in.

 

 

However, we each have the power to step into consciousness and move into the Oneness reality for peace, prosperity, love and joy for all.

 

 

8. What have I neglected to ask ?

 

I have a couple of blogs on bullying on my blogsite as well as a radio show addressing healing from its harmful effects. I am also available for one-on-one coaching and healing sessions to help children and families, as well as adults who were bullied as children, or continued to be bullied work through this. Visit my website www.nickyrolland.com for more information.

Education News
Google
by Education News
Find us on Google+

 

 

 

An Interview with Nicky Rolland: Bullying

Michael F. Shaughnessy

Nicky Rolland is a spiritual teacher and Author of “ Stepping into Consciousness- A Guide to living a Life of Joy, Meaning, and Abundance” In this interview, she discusses bullying, and the spiritual and religious side of it.

  1. Could you tell us a bit about your education and experience?

I graduated in 1989 from Concordia University in Montreal with a business degree. A few years later, I got married, had 3 children and was a stay at home mom until mid life. At 40, I became interested in wellness and holistic health and began a 2 year program with international Shaman Alberto Villoldo. I subsequently gave personal healing sessions to friends and family, branched out and gave some workshops to people in my community. Shortly after, I became certified as a yoga teacher, taught weekly yoga classes for my municipality, and at the same time wrote a book. I am now building an on line business- teaching tools so people can learn to heal themselves and thrive. I write blogs and host a weekly radio show on Blog Talk radio.

2. Now tell us about bullies, and the impact that they have had on your family.

My eldest daughter was bullied in both junior and high school. When we were in England there was a bully in her class that was picking on her as well as a group of her fellow classmates. When we returned to Canada, she was no longer overtly bullied but more covertly ignored. Teachers were often quite nasty to her because of her strong opinions – teachers fell into extreme camps of either supporting her or hindering her in some way. Today, she is very happy, well adjusted young woman, beginning an exciting 4 years of University in the UK. Not all bullied children fare as well as she did, many become scarred and carry the wounds for the rest of their lives. This pain naturally plays out on their ability to have loving relationships and happy lives later on in life.

3. I understand that your kids grew up in England. How do they handle bullies over there?

Though schools in the UK do have anti bullying policies written in their school prospectuses, just as we do, they are more tolerant of the bullying phenomenon. They still very much believe it is a right of passage everyone needs to go through that builds character. The UK is still very status and class conscious. They will do whatever it takes to protect their own. In my daughter’s case, the bully’s parents were respected members of the establishment. Her mother was a very competitive person who bullied her daughter. It was expected thatwe would not complain too much about this- so we didn’t. I now realize that the situation was not as dramatic as we felt it was at the time.

Children, left to their own devices can manage quite well. However, as they get older, if they have not learned the required skills to defend their power, bullying becomes more of a concern. Last I heard, the girl in question was not doing very well, was unhappy and certainly not blossoming into half the leader my daughter is today. Her parents and the school did not do that child a favor by supporting her bully behavior.

4. Talk to us about understanding bullies

Bullying happens whenever someone takes energy or power away from someone else. I see it as a game- a power play- playing with power… you take from me and I take from you, or I defend myself so you can’t take from me. It becomes problematic when people take power away from others who chooses not to, or are unable to defend themselves.

We all bully to some degree. The bullying syndrome goes beyond the person doing the bullying but also includes the person being bullied and the person witnessing the act… each play a role perpetuating this pattern.

Given the prevailing state of consciousness, it is difficult to imagine how this problem could become eradicated. I am, however, confident that as people become more self aware and conscious, bullying will become a thing of the past.

Bullies need to realize that they have access to an unlimited source of power within them so they do not need to take what doesn’t belong to them. Victims need to learn that they have a responsibility to safeguard their own power, and witnesses need to understand that they have an important role to play by simply holding space for the bully and the bullied to each step into their power. Witnesses collude with the syndrome, and make the situation worse when they try to rescue, turn away, or worse support the bully.

5- Many feel that bullies are really emotionally disturbed individuals and behaviorally disordered and should be in special education …your thoughts…

The bully phenomenon plays out on a continuum, ranging from mild, to severe, to dangerous. Once the line is crossed bullying does need to be addressed separately by the authorities as appropriate. However, I believe that this phenomenon needs to be addressed in the early stages, before the line is crossed.

We need to address it in our schools, within families, and within our communities first. It is often the bullied child that grows up to be the psychopath that shocks the world.

In our daily interactions, we each come across 2 types of bullying- Covert bullying which is more socially acceptable than overt bullying. Personally covert bullying scares me much more than overt bullying. I prefer to be confronted by a yelling, seemingly out of control individual (within reason of course…) than a calm person, raging on the inside, smiling on the outside but filled with hidden agenda. Often these bullies work in highly respected positions of authority and prestige, and these are the people who perpetuate the pattern of bullying prevalent today. They are very much in need of healing.

6. Could you discuss the “treatment of bullies”?

First of all, they need loving parents who are healthy and well. Often parents are afraid themselves, cannot manage their own stress levels, and bully their children as a consequence, often without even realizing what they are doing.

Second, we need to teach and encourage children, their parents, their teachers, their neighbours to each step into their own power. Many still feel powerless and believe that the only way to become powerful is to take from others. This is inaccurate.

Third, we need to trust that our children know how to defend themselves. I believe, they need to be given free reign, or a very loose reign, in the very early, formative years of socialization with their peers- Parents and educators need to stay out of the pre- k playground. Instead, we teach our children appropriate and inappropriate ways to defend themselves. As a consequence they get confused and lose their innate sense of what to do.

7. Religion, God, Spirituality- where do all these fit in?

As a spiritual teacher and a person deeply connected to who I am, I believe we are all connected to each other as well. When one person suffers the whole world suffers. Until we each remember that we are already whole and not separate we will continue to harm each other, steal from each other, and live in fear. Being separate is an illusion and is part of the dual reality we live in.

However, we each have the power to step into consciousness and move into the Oneness reality for peace, prosperity, love and joy for all.

8. What have I neglected to ask ?

I have a couple of blogs on bullying on my blogsite as well as a radio show addressing healing from its harmful effects. I am also available for one-on-one coaching and healing sessions to help children and families, as well as adults who were bullied as children, or continued to be bullied work through this. Visit my website www.nickyrolland.com for more information.

Print Friendly, PDF & Email

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.