Janus: Junior Varsity Devils

Jul 23, 2018 by

The pro-Janus crusaders have, sporadically in selected forums, somewhat wiped their gloating grin off their faces in the wake of their Supreme Court victory. It’s a strategic move to be perceived as taking the high road and not as demagogic street-fighters. Hiding their true nature is a tactical initiative.
 
Some of them are insisting that they are not opposed to unions, but only to their unauthorized political action. With crooked intent but a straight face, they have the nerve to say that Janus actually legitimizes unions. Such ballsy obfuscations and distortions can be replicated in fictional scenarios:
 
“We pushed you out of an aircraft at 30,000 feet without a parachute to test their efficacy. We are purveyors of parachutes and wanted to demonstrate their marketability by testing the air, as it were.  We did not send you plummeting through the clouds to give you a bad hair day. It was a business decision.”
 
“We riddled you with bullets to test the permeability of ripped flesh, not to cause you any collective dismay.”
 
“We lobotomized you to diminishes your propensity to be distracted from the challenge of multi-tasking.”
 
“We embalmed you in deference to your hemoglobin.”
 
“We amputated your arm because we didn’t want you to find out the hard way that you weren’t meant to be a switch-hitter.”
 
So how did we cope?
 
We made a soft landing, touching the ground without so much as bending a knee. The lobotomy failed because our skulls couldn’t be penetrated by their false instruments. The mortician missed the vein. And the union teams are hitting monster home-runs by their compensating stance.
 
Lessons mastered under duress have left us in good cheer.
 
In the run-up to Janus, I kept a poker-face and maintained a somewhat forced optimistic tone when discussing the ramifications of the inevitable decision.  We remain threatened by the effects of that ruling.  It is not a “tempest in a teacup”,  but neither is it, by a long shot, “the end of the world” either as we know it or don’t know it.
 
The Unions have light-years of a future ahead and it’s all good.
 
Ron Isaac
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