Meatless Mondays

Apr 2, 2019 by

The day of Monday already gets a bad rap. It’s associated with the travail of returning to the workplace and a reminder that most of us are not living free and clear to luxuriate in life. 

Kids see their parents wince at the mention of a new week and now they will have their own reason to do so: The Department of Education will institute “Meatless Mondays” to all schools citywide starting this fall.

At least it will cut down on speculation on the identity of roadkill.

But this consciousness-raising program won’t work. Whether the adjustment on diet will have a positive effect on children’s health is besides the point.  The chances of alleviating rampant obesity are slim.

Unless school representatives are authorized by new special legislative to use plungers to force the wholesome cuisine down throats, kids just won’t swallow it.

Schools will deal with that by holding ransom the food the kids actually want to eat, which will be served only on condition that they take a full tray that includes the items mandated by the dietitian but forbidden by their better instincts.

Frumpy cafeteria workers, habituated to being cursed out, and given the stink-eye,will do the honors of enforcement.

Kids will get around this inconvenience by taking the entire tray in hand, leaving the serving area, and then dumping the meatless wonder-substitute either in the trash or on the floor.  In our schools, the last laugh is always with the kids. 

I’d bet as much time is being spent on the Meatless Mondays project and only slightly less money, than on the conception through grand-opening of a large shopping mall. 

Certainly the DOE wastes much energy getting people to consume a variety of inedible ideas not only of food.  Good luck to them.  They can lead kids to tofu, but they can’t make them bite!

Ron Isaac

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